Paul Fuzz Raps With Charles Babbage

With the BBC's 'Electric Revolution' season generating a fad for all things computery, I thought I'd interview Father Of Computing and Inventor Of The Difference Engine, Charles Babbage, (1791-1871) for my blog. Enjoy.

Paul : Word is born. I'm here chillin' with my man C-Bizzle, aka B-Dogg, aka The Babbinator, straight outta Victorian London. S'up, dog?

Babbage: I'll tell you what is up. Developing a machine which calculates mathematical tables, removing the risk of human error, is what is up. Dog.

BOOOOOM! C-Bizzle representing for polynomial functions in full effect! It's like THAT, y'all!

Yes, that is what it's like.

So, C-Bizzle. I hear your dopest invention was the Difference Engine. Why don't you hit me with some knowledge?

Very well. The Difference Engine was the first mechanical computer, built to calculate a series of values automatically. It composed of over 25,000 separate parts, and weighed 15 tons.

That's some seriously heavy shit, dog.

Yes, it was exceptionally heavy. Just like your momma.

OH -SNAP!

You may be interested to know that in my day, just as a 'conductor' conducts, so the word 'computer' simply meant an individual who computed.

You mean like a robot?

No, more like a regular human being, employed to calculate difficult sums for universities or financial institutions.

What, you mean like a robot?

Not exactly. A professional mathematician, required to perform great feats of mental arithmetic.

Mental arithmetic? I'll tell you what's mental - not using a calculator! I'd be like, dude, lets just break out the Casio and get busy!

This is my point precisely. In my day there were no calculators. Therefore all mathematical calculations had to be made purely by the human brain, and an individual employed in this profession was known as a computer.

What, like some sort of crazy robot?

Ah...yes.

You've just blown my mind dude. Well, that's all we've got time for. Peace to my man C-Bizzle, whose Difference Engine saved us all from being enslaved by evil super intelligent math-bots. I'm outta here. BOOOOOM!